"Knight Thoughts" -- exclusive web content
Rupert Everett as the voice of Prince Charming plots to retrieve the throne in the third addition to the tasty but forgettable
Shrek series
Once, Twice, Three Times an Ogre:
Shrek the Third
5-18-07 "Knight Thoughts" web exclusive
By Richard Knight, Jr.
I’ve always thought of the Shrek series as the movie equivalent of trying something that you don’t particularly crave but because the
whole world has raved about it, you’ve taken the plunge.  You buy the box of Krispy Kreme donuts or down the latest Starbucks
coffee flavor but honestly, marketing aside, what you’re eating, drinking, or sampling isn’t quite as fantastic as you’ve been led to
believe.  Good yes, fantastic no.  So it is with the
Shrek movies.  Now, with Shrek the Third the craving is not quite so intense, the
cleverness of the conceit is not quite so guffaw inducing and the bloom is definitely off the rose.  In other words, a hint of staleness
is evident.  

Shrek the Third still has its share of smart sight gags thanks to the theme of our modern day sensibility transported to the fairy tale
kingdom and enormous visual panache.  Kids and adults will like it in kind – with perhaps the scale tilted toward mom and dad –
what with all the identifiable “hip” celebrity voices (Justin Timberlake, Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Amy Sedaris, et al joining the
familiar regulars Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, and Antonio Banderas, Jr.) and the soundtrack crammed with the usual
mixture of 70s rock classics and modern day wannabe’s.  As in the other
Shrek pictures many of the parodies of pop culture will be
mystifying to audiences down the road, dooming the series to a short shelf life and eventual parody themselves (not unlike all those
icky 70s disco movies and 80s new wave frat comedies).  But that doesn’t make them any worse – or better – than their
predecessors.  Just something that should be seen right now while they’re fresh (or sorta fresh in this case).

The plot this time revolves around Prince Charming (voiced by Rupert Everett) trying to reclaim his throne when the frog king (John
Cleese) breathes his last and wants Shrek (Myers) the ogre and his beloved Fiona (Diaz) to take the reigns.  Shrek, still the big
green stinky crank, wants no part of this or the baby that Fiona timidly announces she’s expecting.  So Shrek and his sidekicks set
out to look for the other prospective heir – the king’s nephew, a nebbish (voiced by Timberlake) who doesn’t want the job either.  
There are other subplots and a good share of in the moment cleverness as the movie races along toward its inevitable conclusion.  I
especially liked a scene in which Prince Charming and the other fairy tale losers (the Wicked Witch of the West, the evil trees from
The Wizard of Oz, Captain Hook, etc.) descend on Far, Far Away to take control of the kingdom and another in which Shrek and the
sidekicks find the poor young heir in a fairy tale version of a typical modern day high school – here the parody was particularly arch
and knowing.

Of interest for gay audiences is the irony of Everett co-starring in a big budget movie as a straight male character.  To be sure, he’s
only voicing the character and yeah, he’s a villain to boot, but let’s at least sigh over what might have been.  An actor with the star
charisma and the acting chops to have helmed a dozen Hollywood blockbusters.  If only he hadn’t been honest!  If only he’d stayed
in that damn closet and kept his gay sexuality under wraps!  Maybe Everett would have been the new Bond or the new Batman or
whatever action hero is next up in the trillion dollar budget department but who would ever in their right mind accept a flaming,
nellie, prancing pony of a homosexual as an action hero with a taste for violence and a chick magnet to boot?!  My guess is
everyone but those not quite secure with their own sexuality a/k/a straight males from the ages of...oh forget it.  Next generation,
perhaps...

That’s really the only thing I’ve thought about after the screening; the only thing that resonated for me about
Shrek the Third (which
is good – nothing has resonated for me about the first two).  It sounds like I’m saying the movie’s a dud – no, no, no – it’s just that
this is really a movie that like the culture its parodying is meant to be ravenously consumed and just as quickly disposed of and
nothing more.   I am happy to say that I did both those things in short order as the credits rolled.